Charles Ramsey has a bright future in television.

Can you stand a little pre-dawn whining from Howdygram headquarters? I’ve got that stupid body temperature crap going on again, except this time I’m actually running a fever. It’s 100°, which technically feel more like 102° to a person like moi whose normal temperature is two degrees lower than everybody else’s. Other symptoms at the present time include: 1) body aches and joint pain; 2) a bright red heat rash all over my stomach; 3) sneezing; 4) chills; and 5) a desperate craving for lemon Jello, a coloring book and a box of crayons. In lieu of that I’ll also accept orange sherbet and a set of jacks. This happens every time I don’t feel so good. I morph into seven-year-old Marcy, sick in bed and waiting for dad to come home from work with a bunch of presents.

I just took a couple of Extra-Strength Tylenol. As soon as my body aches subside a little I’m heading straight back to bed because Sam looks mighty damn happy in there and I miss him. In the meantime you can send get-well emails here. (The previously-mentioned stupid body temperature crap is a form a diabetic neuropathy, in case you’re interested.)

After months and months of disgusting current events it’s really swell to finally see some GOOD news for a change. I refer specifically to those three young women — Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight, missing for 10 years! — who were rescued yesterday from a house in Cleveland and their kidnappers (three brothers) arrested by police. The greatest part of the story, though, has to be this hilarious interview with the next-door neighbor (Charles Ramsey) who helped them escape. Trust me, this dude has a bright future in television.

I have to go back to bed now. Here’s hoping y’all have a happy day filled with cute kittens, hot biscuits and time to watch “People’s Court.”

Thank you for reading this.