Don’t judge a quilt by its price tag.

I apologize for not writing a Howdygram post yesterday, but there were two excellent reasons for my absence: 1) I was taking care of Sam (he had a cataract removed); and 2) I didn’t feel like it. Fine, sue me.

For all of you Sam fans out there, Mister Adorable is recovering nicely from yesterday’s eyeball surgery. The patch came off at 6 p.m., and within a couple of hours his vision was already greatly improved. Sam’s right eye had been kablooey for more than six months, and it’s really swell that everything is getting back to normal at last. His follow-up appointment with the surgeon this morning went very well and there’s another one scheduled in a couple of weeks.

Anybody besides us bother to watch The Preakness today? It was 90 thrilling seconds of joy when teeny cutie Gary Stevens, a 50-year-old Hall of Fame jockey, rode Oxbow to a surprise win after 65% of practically everybody had bet on Orb. I love karma, don’t you?

Conversely, Pimlico was also the scene of some atrocious crap today, such as a drunken orgy for 65,000 on the infield that resembled Woodstock with beer kegs. The festivities began this morning at 8 and included pitching Moutain Dew from port-a-potty rooftops, passing out en masse and vomiting into buckets.

For fun, here’s a nice shot of Sam — Photoshopped by yours truly — posing with a row of assorted jockeys.

I haven’t posted about my pet peeves for a while but thought I’d take this opportunity to catch up a little. Today’s pet peeve is BEDDING. Seriously … how come nothing I buy from a bedding catalog ever looks that good in my house? Comforters arrive so wrinkled you’d swear they were pulled out of Methuselah’s butt, pillow shams don’t fit your pillows and sheets are never the color you’re expecting unless, of course, you ordered white. But who the hell orders white? The only bedding I’ve ever purchased that arrived in perfect bed-ready condition was the quilt set I ordered two years ago from (of all places) Wal-Mart. This certainly gives new credence to an old adage ... don’t judge a quilt by its price tag.

It’s already after 9 p.m. and I think I need some food. Sam is outside on the patio enjoying the night air and I think I’ll heat a Schwan’s five-star pot roast in the microwave. This thing gets fantastic reviews online and I’ve been dying to try it.

I’m pretty sure there should be enough leftovers to feed a small army if you’re interested, so just send an email. Thank you.