The Trazodone Incident: A Thursday evening update.

Thanks to a bizarre twist in The Trazodone Incident (details follow) I’m finally catching up on a lot of lost sleep. Today, for instance, I was already unconscious on the chaise in the family room before Sam left for work at 1:15, which makes me sad because I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye. Plus, when I finally woke up at 4 p.m. I was still partially brain-dead. You know … where am I? who am I? how the hell did I get here?

And now: The Trazodone Incident. You may recall a Howdygram post from a week ago when I couldn’t refill my sleep aid prescription at Wal-Mart because the dose I’d been taking had been discontinued by the manufacturer, so the pharmacist sold Sam a bottle of 100mg tablets instead and said I should cut them in half. When that didn’t work out (every attempt shattered the tablets into dust) I sent an email to Dr. M asking for another suggestion — can I take 100mg instead or try a different sleep aid? — her nurse (Diana) called and said it was okay to take 100mg but I should look out for any side effects and call if I have problems. And I definitely had problems. Six days of miserable side effects (documented here in case you need a quick refresher) prompted another email to Dr. M’s office, at which time Diana called back with some VERY ANNOYING NEWS. She investigated at Dr. M’s request and found out that Wal-Mart’s pharmacy had been the bearer of some serious “misinformation.” The manufacturer never actually discontinued 50mg Trazodone … WAL-MART JUST RAN OUT. By the time Diana spoke to the pharmacist the tablets were already back in stock and they filled my 90-day prescription.

Thanks a lot, Wal-Mart. ALL THAT HELL FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I’d seriously like to kick the crap out of somebody but I’m not the spring chicken I used to be. I might have to swing my cane at them instead.

It’s 7 p.m. and time to ponder dinner. At the moment I’m considering a bowl of zero-calorie kelp noodles with zero-calorie Walden Farms Asian dressing and a handful of Schwan’s nice frozen shrimp. The kelp noodles will be a “first” for me. Reviewers say they have a crunch like bean sprouts and look like ordinary clear rice noodles, but apparently you don’t have to cook them. You just rinse them off, chop them up a little and eat them raw as a salad with sauce or dressing. It’s slightly possible that I’ll hate these things so I’ve already decided not to waste any shrimp until I know for sure. (Plan B involves pickles & biscuits.) Please stay tuned for further developments, okay?

For the record, Walden Farms Asian dressing is FANTASTIC. I just stuck my finger in the bottle so I can make this announcement with complete authority.

Thank you for reading this.