The only things a Smart Stick can’t do? Shmear cream cheese on a bagel and turn on the dishwasher.

I can’t sleep. I woke up at 4:45 for my old-lady-middle-of-the-night shlep to the bathroom and never went back to bed because I’m really excited about FOUR MAJOR EVENTS. These are: 1) the Howdygram’s makeover; 2) discovering chia seeds; 3) an appraiser is coming over this morning regarding our re-fi; and 4) you don’t want to miss Behind the Candelabra this Sunday on HBO.

To celebrate all of the above I just ordered a stainless steel Cuisinart Smart Stick immersion blender from Amazon. Glorioski! The Smart Stick does practically EVERYTHING and includes a chopping attachment and a whisk attachment. The only things it can’t do are shmear cream cheese on a bagel and turn on the dishwasher, but how much can a person expect for $39.95?

I watched one of my all-time favorite movies yesterday. It’s Night Must Fall, a thriller from 1937 starring Robert Montgomery, Rosalind Russell and Dame May Whitty. Holy crap, people, it’s FANTASTIC. Every time I watch this film I get so sucked into the suspense that I can’t even finish my gefilte fish. I think this was probably the best performance of Robert Montgomery’s career. Dame May Whitty was really swell, too.

It’s after 7 a.m. and I’m officially hungry and thirsty, a clear indication that it’s the perfect time for a sightseeing trip to the kitchen. Thank you for reading this. In the meantime, stay tuned for the whole scoop about chia seeds in another post later today. (With pictures.)