This is why it’s so damn cool to live in Texas.

Oy. I just got home from an afternoon of errands — no kidding, people, I ran errands! — and I’m tired, bummed out and crabby. My first stop was the podiatrist’s office, where we discovered a very infected toenail. Big toe, right foot. It doesn’t hurt, and for the last couple of months I thought it was just bruised and discolored. Wrong. Dr. Angelier prescribed an antibiotic and gave me a sack full of Naftin samples that I’m supposed to use once a day with a stretchy waterproof bandaid. Naftin is an antifungal creamy thingy.

My next stop was Vince’s Salon in Garland for a swell summer haircut, and I’m pleased to report that I look ADORABLE. Two observations: 1) my stylist cut off so damn much hair I’ll bet I lost five pounds; and 2) my hair is getting curlier as I get older. I don’t understand this but I’m not complaining because at least I’m not GRAY. After Vince’s I dropped off my antibiotic prescription at Wal-Mart’s drive-through pharmacy. I’m supposed to pick it up after 6 but I doubt that anything can motivate me to get dresssed again because the brassiere and shoes came off the minute I walked in the house. (Stop laughing, okay?) The following regional map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters in Mesquite; B) Dr. Angelier’s office; C) Vince’s Salon; and D) our Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market.

From our This Is Why It’s So Damn Cool To Live In Texas department comes breaking news from Waco, where a jury has sentenced Willie Smith Ward to 50 years in prison for stealing a rack of ribs.

The Waco Tribune-Herald reports that Ward’s theft turned into a robbery when he threatened the grocery store employee who tried to stop him, and the jury recommended sentencing Ward as a habitual criminal after considering his prior convictions for burglary, attempted robbery, assault and leaving the scene of an accident. Ward will have to serve at least 12½ years before he’s eligible for parole. HOLY CRAP. I don’t care what this dude’s “priors” were … who the hell gets a 50-year prison sentence for stealing FOOD?  

Only in Texas, people. Or maybe 18th century France.

I think it’s time for dinner, which will include another round of pickles & biscuits, a wad of Mexican Velveeta and the terrific new Ronald Colman biography that came in the mail today. I can’t wait to read this book because Ronald Colman is one of my all-time favorite actors. Sam’s, too, actually. If you’re not familiar with Ronald Colman’s work I can highly recommend the following excellent films, all shown from time to time on TCM: Her Night of Romance (1924); Beau Geste (1926); Bulldog Drummond (1929); Raffles (1930); A Tale of Two Cities (1935); Lost Horizon and The Prisoner of Zenda (1937); and Talk of the Town and Random Harvest (1942).

Shalom, y’all.