Grumpy Cat hits the big time.

Good morning and a happy Thursday to you and yours from the fine folks at Howdygram headquarters. As I write this post Sam is on his way to the ophthalmologist in Rockwall for a cataract surgery follow-up appointment and then to Costco for a trunk full of excellent whatnots that will include a tub of pistachios, raspberries, Kraft cream cheese, a dozen breakfast burritos, frozen fully-cooked Angus beefburgers that taste exactly like they just came off the grill, a bag of 24 peeled hard-boiled eggs and the biggest damn jar of green olives God ever created. (I’m really into green olives.) For your possible interest the following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) Dr. Hurst’s office in Rockwall; and C) Costco.

Here’s some good news for people who think cyberspace is reality. The Internet’s favorite crabby feline, Grumpy Cat — whose real name is Tarder Sauce —has signed a deal to star in a “Garfield-like” family movie about a talking cat. According to Grumpy Cat’s rep (oy ... a cat with representation) the movie will be a live-action blockbuster with a cast of thousands and a musical score to rival Ben-Hur. (Okay, I might be kidding about the cast and score.) The producers think their film will be a huge hit due to the popularity of Grumpy Cat’s picture on the Internet and the fact that it won a Webby award for Meme of the Year.

From Internet meme to Hollywood movie ... what could possibly go wrong? I almost can’t wait to not give a crap about this.

You have no idea how much I don’t want to go to the podiatrist this afternoon. I have nothing against my actual doctor, it’s just that I’m not thrilled about wearing shoes and a brassiere. On the plus side, I’ve just decided to have pickles & biscuits for lunch. Thank you for reading this.