If you ever see these miserable things on a shelf in the supermarket, run like hell.

Before I begin blogging about other less-important subjects I’d like to report that my adorable hero Sam successfully unclogged the kitchen sink when he got home from work Thursday night (see previous post) and the 2013 Kelp Noodle Disaster is now a distant memory.

Do yourself a favor. If you ever see these miserable things on a shelf in the supermarket, RUN LIKE HELL.

Friday was an up and down day around here, a description that refers specifically to my blood glucose numbers and ongoing whacked-out body temperature issues. I’ll try to keep it brief because you’re probably getting as bored with this crap as I am.

At 5 a.m. I wake up to go to the bathroom, which happens at least once every night to female senior citizens like yours truly, but on my way down the hall I’m disoriented, intoxicated and clammy — typical symptoms of hypoglycemia — so I end up in the study testing my blood sugar and find out I’ve hit an all-new low at 42. I chomp a couple of Wal-Mart glucose tablets (tasty!) and download a few new fonts until I feel steady enough to go back to bed. Later in the morning during a period of general achy crappiness I check my temperature: another personal best at 95.3°. Sam gets all panicky and decides our thermometer has to be broken because people who are not cadavers should have a body temperature considerably higher than that, so he goes to the drug store and comes home with a new one. Five minutes later I prove the old one wasn’t broken at all. Oy.

The aforementioned new fonts appear below. I love the arrows!

Saturday got off to a much better start, thank God, due to a couple of quick yet thorough Internet shopping excursions that included: 1) six cans of Folger’s hazelnut coffee from Soap.com; and 2) laundry essentials and two boxes of Mexican Velveeta from Wal-Mart. Incidentally, I’m trying Tide Pods for the very first time. The fact that I can’t wait is starting to scare me.

Since the Republican party has already launched its 2016 race to the White House, as evidenced by Rand Paul’s futile quote on MSNBC this morning that “Benghazi should stop Hillary Clinton from ever holding higher office” and the announcement of yet another round of desperate GOP-fueled Congressional Benghazi hearings, the Howdygram would like to set the record straight. Sure, four Americans were killed last fall in the attack on our embassy in Benghazi, Libya, but the GOP’s anger is a smoke screen and a bunch of BALONEY HORSESHIT as illustrated by the graphic below.

Thank you for reading this.