Photogenic sausages in the spotlight.

Lots of crazy things are happening around here! First, I was reminded once again about the Howdygram’s broad outreach when I received an email from the marketing director at FoodyDirect.com. Apparently lots of my readers have been clicking FoodyDirect’s link in the right sidebar of the Howdygram — in the “Let’s Spend Some Dough” section — so the company is offering all of us a 15% DISCOUNT. This is terrific on a number of different levels, but mostly because the food they sell is incredible. I’ve ordered from FoodyDirect in the past and placed another order this afternoon for a gigantic box of spicy smoked sausages from Kreuz Market in Lockhart, Texas. For your possible interest Kreuz’s photogenic sausages appear below (left).

I think you should all check out FoodyDirect.com and order some fabulous crap to eat. On a personal note, aside from Kreuz Market for barbecue I’m especially excited by Kenny & Ziggy’s Deli in Houston (above, right) and think I’ll probably have to try their corned beef next time. Eileen’s Special Cheesecake from New York is mighty thrilling, too, except I’m diabetic and I’ve been trying really hard not to look at that damn picture. (It’s the one in the middle.) God help me.

Which brings me to my next issue: DIABETES, and the scary hypoglycemic “low” episode I experienced a couple of hours ago. No kidding, people, this was the worst one I’ve had so far. At 8 p.m. I’m sitting at my desk writing this post for the Howdygram, and about 15 minutes after my mealtime insulin injection I start to feel clammy, shaky, lightheaded, disoriented, intoxicated and altogether lousy and panicky. I keep little jars of glucose chewables in every room of the house and a big jar in the top drawer of my desk, so I eat two glucose chewables (fruit punch flavor ... my favorite!) and nothing happens so I eat four more. By now, maybe 8:15, I’m also feeling nauseated and faint, so I put my head down on my desk and wake up maybe half an hour later sweaty and soaked to the skin. I eat two more glucose thingies and sit here for another 45 minutes until I feel steady enough to shlep myself into the kitchen for some actual food. By the time I finally eat dinner — two nice pieces of low-carb toast, a wad of Mexican Velveeta and green olives — it’s 10 p.m. and Sam is already on his way home from work. Holy crap! In case you care, I had chocolate Soy Slender soy milk with a bunch of chia seeds for dessert. (I love chia seeds.)

Hope y’all are planning a wild and crazy Memorial Day holiday. We’ve got nothing whatsoever on the agenda here because Sam is on call this weekend and says he’s expecting a number of projects to come in, which means he’ll be working from home. As for me, I’ll be glued to HBO Sunday night to watch Behind the Candelabra starring Michael Douglas and Matt Damon. Check your local listings.

Behind the Candelabra also stars Rob Lowe at Liberace’s gay plastic surgeon. In an interview a few days ago Lowe said he expected the movie to be gay but didn’t realize it would be THE GAYEST MOVIE EVER MADE. I have no idea what (aside from the money, of course) ever enticed all these heterosexual A-listers to appear in risky horseshit like this, but I absolutely can’t wait to see it and think you should see it, too. Thank you.