Kelp noodles. What was I thinking?

There are times when I question the strength of my remaining brain cells. Kelp noodles turned out to be not such a great choice for dinner tonight for the following reasons: 1) they’re inedible; 2) they squeak in your teeth; 3) they look like the transparent shreddy cellophane crap that goyim stuff in Easter baskets; and 4) they can destroy an otherwise robust garbage disposer.

Kelp noodles have turned out to be the lousiest food experiment of my life because I couldn’t swallow even one mouthful. Unfortunately, Sam will have to deal with them, too, when he gets home from work tonight, because I shoved most of the damn things into the garbage disposer until the sink got pissed off and backed up.

I am sincerely sorry about this. I know better. I did the same thing last summer with a bowl of old macaroni.