Fear and loathing in North Korea.

Sam is my hero. As I write this post he’s at Costco shopping for two items on my “wish list”: 1) a ginormous package of extra-lean ground beef; and 2) stuffed mushrooms. I’m also hoping to get to the supermarket today or tomorrow for a large pile of regular groceries so I’ll have ingredients on hand during the holidays. I want to make homemade Beef Barley Soup, a lot more Sugar-Free Hungarian Un-Stuffed Cabbage and a big pot of chili. I’m hungry, damn it.

In case you missed the big news from impoverished North Korea, former supreme leader and hardcore funnyman Kim Jong Il has died of heart failure. The country is encouraging its people to support — as if they have a choice, right? — his youngest son and hand-picked heir, Kim Jong Un, pictured below. Nobody really knows exactly how old this well-fed little screwball might be, but 28 is the best guess by those who give a crap.

According to Kim Jong Il’s private sushi chef, this particular son was daddy’s favorite because he’s so good-looking and resembles his handsome and popular late grandfather, Kim Il Sung (see inset), who had lots of teeth. We at the Howdygram wish North Korea lots of mazel with their latest rock star and hope he’ll be as modest and frugal as his late father. For example, the late Kim Jong Il: 1) reportedly spent $800,000 annually on imported French wine and Hennessey cognac; 2) traveled around North Korea in a private armored train with a team of executive chefs that had live lobsters flown in daily; 3) claimed that he learned to play golf in 1994 and immediately shot 38-under par on a regulation 18-hole golf course with no fewer than 11 holes-in-one; and 4) loved American movies and owned 20,000 DVDs. To keep all this in perspective, two million North Koreans starved to death during the mid-1990s and North Korea is considered the most oppressed nation on earth.

I think I need to watch a Jerry Lewis movie now. Thank you for reading this.