Cake is a vehicle for frosting.

My new Farberware nonstick baking pan was delivered yesterday at 3:45 p.m. and by 4 I was already baking my first-ever sugar-free Pillsbury yellow cake with sugar-free Pillsbury chocolate fudge frosting. The results were incredible. It tastes exactly like a regular yellow cake with regular fudgy frosting! Even Sam loved it ... and he typically reacts to sugar-free dessert like it’s a Doris Day movie. (With the same expression on his face.)

I’m living in cake heaven right now. Cake is beautiful. Cake is brilliant. Cake is the MOST AMAZING FOOD EVER INVENTED next to Mongolian chicken. God bless cake! And as long as I’m spouting my innermost food philosophies, I’ll share one more revelation ... cake is a vehicle for frosting just like gefilte fish is a vehicle for horseradish. I’m serious. Thank you for allowing me to get this off my chest.

I’ve got a ginormous issue to report to you. Yesterday, for the first time since he was in kindergarten, Sam forgot to take his lunch to school work! He left the bag sitting on the kitchen counter and I didn’t discover it until he was already at the office, at which time I called immediately to find out if he’d been cheating on my homemade turkey and cheese sandwiches with fast food or another woman. He denied any wrongdoing whatsoever, which means apparently this isolated episode was just one of those peculiar anomalies of life — like the day I completely forgot to cut his sandwich in half — and our marriage is still intact. You can stop worrying now, okay?

ONLY FIVE MORE DAYS UNTIL HANUKKAH. I’ll post my wish list tomorrow. Shalom, y’all.