Sam and Marcy’s interesting day.

It began with a freeway adventure on our way to the Choctaw Casino surrounded by dozens of blinking “oversized load” vehicles and gigantic trucks — seriously, the biggest damn trucks I’ve ever seen in my life — hauling JET AIRPLANE WINGS at least half a block long. Considering the size of their cargo they all moved along at a pretty decent clip, and Sam and I arrived at our destination just in time for lunch before the rest of the senior citizens shlepped into the buffet line. And because inquiring minds want to know, yesterday’s featured sugar-free pie was lemon meringue.

Sam was clearly our big winner at the slots. He ended the day $70 ahead and recouped everything we spent, including gas and lunch.

For the gamblers among you who might be taking notes, the Howdygram’s two favorite slot machines are Sirens and DaVinci Diamonds. We highly recommend both because you get bonuses and free spins with great background music. Also, Sirens has the best payout (and the best light show) when you get five-girls-in-a-row with the purple hair. Their boobs even start to glow. Next time I’ll bring a seat restraint for Sam so he doesn’t jump off the stool and scare people.

We’ve got two very fun things planned for today!

Fun Thing #1. Sam promised to hang some wall decor that’s been sitting in the closet for the last couple of months, mostly because he loves me and hopes I’ll stop pestering him.

Fun Thing #2. Tonight before dinner we want to drive around looking at Christmas lights. The best neighborhood in Dallas is always Highland Park starting at Preston Road and Armstrong ... certifiable mansions with lights done by professionals. (Translation: zero inflatable Santas.) We bring along Altoids and Wheat Thins so we won’t starve to death.

Thank you for reading this. I’m not joking.