Nice work if you can get it.

A Howdygram public service announcement. Never, under any circumstances, should you read a full-color Hickory Farms Christmas catalog at 5 a.m. because you’ll develop a desperate need for a lot of plastic-wrapped cheese and salami, as illustrated below. I speak from experience. Thank you.

We only had one entry for yesterday’s contest but my sister-in-law didn’t get it right. The laughing boy in the photo was actually 13-year-old Maurice Chevalier (sorry, Lisa) at the start of his vaudeville career in 1901.

Happy Hanukkah to me! I just ordered a fabulous LEATHER STORAGE BENCH for the master bedroom from Amazon.com. This will look wonderful at the foot of our bed and even has a spacious hiding place for a large quantity of candy bars or sex toys. I also priced leather benches on Overstock.com but Amazon had much better deals (50% less) for basically the same merchandise.

And don’t tell Sam, but I also ordered a faux mink throw for the family room because it’s always been my dream to watch “People’s Court” wrapped in fur. (Not really.) The bench and throw should be here by the middle of next week.

Incidentally, does anybody in Howdygramland — aside from me — use Cut-Rite wax paper? Sam always picked it up for me at Wal-Mart but apparently it hasn’t been in stock for a while and I also can’t find it on Wal-Mart’s website. A greedy no-name seller on Amazon has Cut-Rite for twice the regular price plus $5.49 shipping but there’s no way I’m falling for that. God bless the Internet, though ... I just discovered PaperGoods.com with CHEAPO PRICES on a lot of  everyday household crap. (They even have a huge inventory of nice party supplies, although I haven’t thrown a party in 30 years and don’t intend to start now.) As a bonus there’s no sales tax and tolerable $5 shipping that’s FREE when you spend $49. I ordered several rolls of Cut-Rite and several rolls of plastic wrap.

For the record, I use Cut-Rite to wrap Sam’s sandwiches when he goes to work because his sandwiches are extremely important to me. Thank you for reading this.