Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found you …

FedEx, probably the most anti-social shipper on earth, was here about an hour ago to drop off a couple of deliveries. They don’t actually wait for a person to get to the front door … they just ring your bell and haul ass.

What I found on my doorstep today was a bit of a surprise … two gigantic and mysterious cartons from Kirkland’s, one of them almost tall enough for me to stand up in. The reason I’m slightly baffled is, the only merchandise I’ve ordered from Kirkland’s recently are two candle runners (see my earlier post) and both are less than 20 inches long. It’s almost frightening to think that an Einstein in Kirkland’s shipping department thought it was necessary to package one of them in a carton that’s more than five feet high.

I’ll ask Sam to bring in both boxes when he gets home from work. Stay tuned for further developments, but please feel free to go about your normal routine in the meantime.

I had a little fun online today. I ordered some cool wallplates and outlet covers from WallplatesOnline.com, which included a very nice solid oak for the guest room and textured bronze for our second bath. Then I discovered a new website called Netrition.com that sells — among other things — a ton of essential products for diabetics, such as SUGAR-FREE OREOS, bags of SUGAR-FREE CARAMELS and SUGAR-FREE HEINZ KETCHUP. Yee-ha! Portraits of everything I ordered appear below for your possible interest.

I also subscribed to repeat deliveries of Ziploc quart storage bags on Amazon.com … we’ll get three boxes of 50 bags every five months. I didn’t think it would be necessary to include a photo with this post because I suspect you already know what Ziploc bags look like, but here’s one anyway, in case you grew up in a South American jungle or just got released from prison.

I don’t know about YOU, but here are a couple of seriously over-exposed faces that are getting on my nerves.

Frankly, I do NOT need a news bulletin every time Gabrielle Giffords has a gas pain or Pippa Middleton is discovered shopping for groceries without lipstick. The media should be focusing on more serious issues, such as did Kim Kardashian’s mother get liposuction and is Rick Perry actually promoting sedition when he announces his plan to screw the Constitution and dismantle the Federal government. (The answer to both would be YES.)

Thank you for reading this.