Seriously, this is why I shop online.

Happy Black Friday, the official kickoff of the Christmas season, when happy shoppers nationwide — many apparently carrying explosives and concealed weapons in case the store runs out of Barbies — assault each other with pepper spray, maul other shoppers who had the nerve to show up first, trample each other in line and, finally, rob each other at gunpoint in the parking lot if you manage to snag the laptop somebody else wanted.

Black Friday has to be the most appalling day EVER to consider walking into a retail establishment. This year our local lunatics started camping out in front of Mesquite’s big box stores 48 hours before Thanksgiving. Sorry kids, no turkey this year because mommy wants a cheap Android. Here’s a video clip of a near-riot in the Mesquite Wal-Mart shortly before midnight this morning, which captures a group of eager Christians preparing to celebrate the birth of Christ. (Oy.)



Sam is at the office today. He’s all alone and working first shift, something he volunteered to do in order to take a full week off starting January 2, which is a wonderful time to have a vacation after the crazy holidays are finished, as depicted above. We have no firm plans yet, although a trip to the Choctaw Casino is always at the top of our list providing we don’t have an ice storm.

And now for a burning question ... do you have a lot of leftovers from yesterday? We’ve got plenty, and I even made Sam a “Thanksgiving sandwich” to take with him to work today, which consisted of turkey, mayo, stuffing and cranberry sauce between two big slices of homemade Italian country bread.

I strongly recommend this sandwich as a wise use of leftovers, although it’s a little too much for yours truly because I’m what you’d call “dentally challenged.”

I suppose no post would be complete with a Club Meds update, right? My newest medication, Gemfibrozil, lists some interesting potential side effects, the two most common being gastrointestinal distress and fatigue. I’ve been having both for the last several days, but I guess I should be grateful I’m not also experiencing nausea, jaundice, vertigo, dark urine, atrial fibrillation or acute appendicitis. Holy crap, this is like a horror movie in a pill.

Please send me some sugar-free lemon jello. Thank you for reading this.