Readers of “Travel + Leisure” magazine recently voted for the top 35 foodie cities in America. Dallas shlepped in at number 32, beating only Orlando, Vegas and Anchorage — the only spot on earth for polar bear tacos — and lagging behind just about every other decent city in the country, including San Antonio, Austin and (horrors) Houston.
Even though the barbecue, Tex-Mex, and steak-centered cuisine in Big D isn’t a whole lot different than the food in higher-ranked Austin and San Antonio, voters were way more interested in Dallas’ SHOPPING opportunities, which can be impressive. For people-watching, however, “Travel + Leisure” ranked Dallas DEAD LAST. Apparently nobody wants to look at us, which is fine with me because if you don’t think we’re cuter than a bunch of creepy ALASKANS y’all can just go back to wherever the hell you came from and stay there!
So much for Texas hospitality …
And now a word about AARP — the American Association of Retired Persons — which has turned into an extremely irritating organization. These people never stop mailing special offers I don’t need, never stop sending email and never stop the robo-calls. I joined to support their advocacy efforts for seniors but MOSTLY to get their monthly magazine and a few restaurant discounts … AARP thinks I signed on to become a FULL-TIME ACTIVIST. At least three times a week I get frantic, scare-tactic emails begging for money and asking me to write urgent messages to my congressman or sign another petition.
In addition to three separate requests for money, here are the eight other emails I’ve received from AARP just during the past 48 hours: 1) Stand up and be counted so your congressman won’t vote to cut Social Security and Medicare; 2) budgeting for a cruise; 3) mazel tov, you qualify for a 25% discount from Teleflora; 4) a copy of email #1 in case you were too busy cleaning your dentures to read it the first time; 5) don’t be an idiot … all those free lunch investment seminars are scams; 6) simple tips for gardening indoors and how to buy the best luggage; 7) take our easy food safety quiz; and 8) how to get more from your grocery store coupons.
They’re making me crazy.
And finally, everybody will be excited to know that Dunkin’ Donuts is opening a store in McKinney, Texas … its fifth in the greater Dallas area. Apparently the fact that we already have a donut shop on every street corner — almost outnumbering NAIL SALONS — doesn’t matter, because Dunkin’ Donuts is positive we need one more. Texans just can’t get enough frosted wads of fried dough with sprinkles.
Thank you for reading this.
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