Miscellaneous Monday crapola.

Why everybody loves us. For those of you who may be interested, the four most popular Howdygram posts of all time are Marie Osmond looks like a drag queen (read), Paula Deen’s plastic surgery (read) and two about the ugliest world leaders of all time (click here and here). Exceptionally popular Google searches continue to send these pageviews through the roof. I suppose I could write about Marie, Paula and ugly world leaders more often, except there isn’t much else to say. Marie is still Marie, Paula is still Paula, and all of those ugly world leaders are still ugly. Moammar Gaddafi, however, is looking better than he used to because he’s currently DEAD.

Let’s talk onions rings. Remember that old adage, “you can’t judge a book by its cover”? Take a look at the two photos below. I’d be willing to bet you’d never in a million years think that Schwan’s frozen onion rings are as good as those hand-battered beauties from Scotty P’s, our favorite local burger joint! Actually, they’re NOT ... except Schwan’s are still pretty good, and I’m even getting ready to order my second bag this week.

Please note that Sam hasn’t tried Schwan’s onion rings yet, and his review should carry a lot more weight than mine because he’s basically the Roger Ebert of onion rings and pretty hard to please. I’ll feed him a few over Thanksgiving weekend and let you know what he thinks. Try to remain calm in the meantime.

The retail excursion. I just got home from an exhilarating little shopping junket! My first stop was Bed, Bath & Beyond, where I returned an annoying bedskirt and bought a nice rug for inside the back door and an extra throw pillow for the master bedroom. Then, in a mad rush of energy and inspiration, I drove over to Hobby Lobby (like Michael’s, but bigger) for two silk plants and a little bag of sugar-free DeMet’s Turtles that jumped into my cart during checkout. (I’m eating one as I write this post.)

Dr. M has added another new prescription to my ongoing regimen of maintenance drugs, this time for high triglycerides. I’m taking Gemfibrozil now, twice a day ... 30 minutes before breakfast and dinner. Personally, I’m not crazy about prescriptions that have to be coordinated with meals because they cramp my style. Even worse, these pills are GINORMOUS. (See below, depicted at actual size.) I might have to practice by swallowing a couple of whole DeMet’s Turtles.

Thank you for reading this.