Hi, y’all. It’s the wee hours of Monday morning and I haven’t been to bed yet, a situation most likely caused by two thoroughly ridiculous Sunday naps. (One lasted almost
four hours.)
There’s a breaking news story on ABC’s
website right now about an auction of “rare” Marilyn Monroe pictures. Come on, how rare can these stupid things be after all this time? Just about every month somebody discovers another stack of rare Marilyn Monroe pictures in a dead director’s basement, making her the most over-exposed deceased actress EVER. Here’s one of Marilyn’s latest, where she’s posing in a never-before-seen bed with a rare glass of milk. Holy crap, people. Can we be done with this obsession already?
The entertainment world is reeling tonight after Ashley Olsen, 25, announced her decision to quit acting and focus on the fashion empire she’s created with her twin sister Mary-Kate. Aside from the fact that I don’t think Ashley has had a speaking role on television since she was three years old, the bigger revelation is that she considers herself
fashionable.
The Olsen twins, pictured above, are in fact a pair of GRIMY BAG LADIES frequently photographed shlepping around Manhatttan with dirty hair, chewed-off nail polish and clothes they’ve pulled from the dumpster behind Goodwill.
Is this fashion? Seriously?
On March 2 Frito-Lay will launch their latest line of chips — “Doritos Jacked” — because we can never get enough greasy crap in our diets. The new Doritos are 40 percent thicker than regular Doritos (why?) and will be available in two new flavors: Enchilada Supreme and Smoky Chipotle BBQ.
At last! A thicker, crunchier path to obesity!
I saw a news story a little while ago that I had to read
twice because it genuinely freaked me out. Apparently a nutjob pastor named Richard Geringswald (see right) of Polk County, Florida, and his faithful flock of nutjob haters have anointed a highway leading into town with olive oil in order to “call out the angels to check every car that enters the county to make sure they’re Christian, and if they’re NOT Christian they would either have to follow Christian beliefs or get put in jail.” A group of atheists washed the highway to make a statement for tolerance, after which the aforementioned nutjob haters buried bricks engraved with Psalm 37:9-11 alongside the 12 major roads that enter the county and held a public prayer vigil. The atheists and nutjobs are also investing in
dueling billboards, which is certainly a sensible way to spend large sums of money on something really stupid. Hey, is America fun, or
what?
It’s 4:30 in the morning and I’m not tired enough yet to go to bed. To amuse myself in the meantime I’ve been checking
Weather.com every half-hour to watch for their predicted storm system to show up on radar. So far there’s nothing whatsoever in the vicinity even though they’re promising a 95% chance of huge thunderstorms by 7 a.m. Here’s the scoop.
I won’t believe any of this Weather Channel baloney until it actually GETS HERE, so stay tuned for additional updates and thank you for reading this.
No comments:
Post a Comment