Meteorology isn’t science, it’s science fiction.

They’re at it again. Weather.com is taking yet another stab at predicting scary weather for the Dallas area. This time it’s supposed to happen tomorrow — Auntie Em! — a 90% chance of thunderstorms with egg-size hail (extra large or jumbo?), 65 m.p.h. wind, flooding rain and a couple of possible tornadoes. Our current forecast map appears below.

Don’t believe it. They’ve predicted this identical scenario so many times — with no results whatsoever — that it’s turned into a standing joke around here.

In the dictionary meteorology is defined as “the branch of science concerned with the processes and phenomena of the atmosphere, especially as a means of forecasting the weather.” Fat chance, pal. Meteorology isn’t science, it’s SCIENCE FICTION.

Know what? I’m starting to get excited about that freeze-dried hamburger I ordered a few hours ago from Shelf Reliance (see post) and just decided that my first culinary effort will be sloppy Joes since I’ve got a can of Manwich somewhere in the back of the pantry. Do you think I’m supposed to use freeze-dried buns with this? (I don’t have any.)

I think I’ll go back to bed. Thanks for stopping by.