Thursday, March 29, 2012

Living the good life. Free cookies, funeral planning and a hearing aid test.

It’s been a while since my last pet peeve outburst, but here goes.

Today’s pet peeve. I’m sick of multiple exclamation points and crackpot clients, and my current example combines them both. A couple of hours ago I got an email from a client named Janice that made no sense whatsoever. Here it is, copied and pasted, with her original typos intact. I should preface this by mentioning I hadn’t heard from her for more than two years.
“My Zumba instructor is employeed through Zumba Inc. he is an character on one of the DVD Rush Videos, he drives me crazy, hes great, I want him to contact you so bad for branding material and website! Because I love you!!!! His name is Jason, maybe you can send him some material to look at and tell him I recommended him to you! I showed him by business carts last night! He is so talented!!! But if no one knows you exist if doesn't matter! Jason is a dery humbled, God fearing Christian that will needs exposure. He is on video with Beto who invented ZUMBA!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!”
This woman scares the living crap out of me. She not only can’t type, she also can’t spell, can’t punctuate, can’t think and can’t conjugate a coherent sentence. I want to slap her senseless.

And now for something completely different! This must have something to do with my advancing 60+ age group, but lately I’ve been receiving pathetic ads in the mail. Today it was a free seminar on the topic “Funeral Advantage Program Assistance for Seniors” and a coupon for free cookies and a hearing aid test at the Mesquite Senior Center. In case you’re interested, I also qualify for Meals on Wheels now. I wonder if they deliver Mongolian chicken.

Thank you for reading this.

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