Thanks to Takeru Kobayashi, I don’t think I want a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner.

It’s me again, boys and girls, with some GOOD NEWS. Apparently my new client is delirious with joy over the website I designed for his bakery in South Carolina. He’s been sending nonstop “OMG! I LOVE THIS!” emails since early afternoon, apparently a clear indication that I figured out what he wanted. Therefore I thought I’d post a scaled-down version of his website design for your possible interest. We’ll start adding page content tomorrow, and as soon as the site is published I’ll post a link. Everybody please stay tuned.

Further to my previous post I’ve discovered even more photos of teeny food to share with you, all created by Einstein food artist Jessica Hlavac. I think I’m most impressed with the teeny pot stickers and the teeny pancakes. Smaller than a BLUEBERRY? Seriously?

For some reason all this teeny crap makes me want to play with Barbie dolls again ... but ONLY if I could find one exactly like my first in 1962. Mine looked like the Barbie pictured at right except with platinum blonde hair and hot pink lipstick. I got her when I was in fourth grade and played Barbie after school at Sandy Fineberg’s house. Sandy and I also ate a lot of Maurice Lenell cookies, which basically sucked except for Almonettes, the one variety that didn’t taste like corrugated cardboard. For the record, Maurice Lenell cookies were manufactured and distributed only in Chicago. (I can’t believe they’re still in business.)

In case you’re wondering, I didn’t especially like playing Barbie at home with my little sister because she was always hiding Barbie’s shoes in empty JuJuBe boxes.

And finally, let’s all shout out a rousing “MAZEL TOV” to Takeru Kobayashi, who ate 13 grilled sandwiches in 60 seconds yesterday at the South by Southwest Interactive Conference in Austin, Texas. Yes, that’s a new world’s record. I watched the video of this event (until my stomach turned) and the crazy dude actually SWALLOWED ALL 13 SANDWICHES WHOLE. Kobayashi is also well-known for gorging himself with Nathan’s hotdogs and was the undefeated champion — 53½ hotdogs in 10 minutes — for six consecutive years. Holy crap.

It’s almost 8 p.m. and I haven’t given much thought to dinner yet. Since I’m both extremely hungry and extremely lazy I’ll probably just grab a can of Loma Linda fake meat and throw a party for one in front of the TV. I’ve got a nice assortment of Clifton Webb movies recorded — Sitting Pretty, The Razor’s Edge and Stars and Stripes Forever — plus today’s episode of “People’s Court.” I love my life. Thank you for reading this.