I’m surprised that I’m not barfing right now.

Due to a semi-scary lack of appetite for the last couple of days I’ve been forcing myself to eat peculiar little meals at meaningless intervals in an effort to keep my blood sugar at an even keel. During the past three hours I’ve consumed all of the following, listed here in no particular order whatsoever: 1) one dozen stuffed green olives; 2) a lot of Beanit Butter sprinkled with a lot of Splenda; 3) a teeny can of Chinese braised gluten; 4) two leftover low-carb biscuits nuked for 20 seconds so the butter will melt; 5) one Slim Jim; 6) Tylenol; and 7) three Kraft American singles. I don’t think I’m feeling very well, and looking at this picture definitely doesn’t help. I’m surprised that I’m not barfing right now. Seriously.

Sam’s Aunt Adie sent the following photo today from Burbank, California, where a crowd of happy relatives attended Anna’s ballet recital. Pictured below in the front row from left to right: Lisa, Anna, Belle (Sam’s mother) and David (Sam’s brother). Sam is crouching in the back because he’s at least a foot taller than everybody else on earth. Are these people adorable, or what?

To help battle the crushing boredom while Sam’s out of town all week I’ve decided to redesign my Ovation Creative website even though I’m 98% retired now and doubt that anybody really gives a crap about this. I’ll be working on a new logo and maybe a new color palette. I also plan to horse around with my Cuisinart Speed Stick immersion blender, read my new Ronald Colman biography and make a nice big meatloaf. I love my life.