Monday, June 24, 2013

Lost and found. At last.

Breaking news from Howdygram headquarters: WE FOUND THEM! We finally found Sam’s BLACK STRETCHY PANTS that went missing in February 2011 (see original post)! They were stuffed on a hard-to-see shelf in our walk-in closet behind a row of dress shirts. Holy crap, people, this was like STRIKING GOLD. We’d been looking for these stupid things off and on for TWO AND A HALF YEARS. Glorioski!

You may recall that I’ve got a website client in Colorado who recently hired herself a marketing go-getter named Warren. This go-getter Warren person called me a couple of weeks ago (see earlier post) to introduce himself and promised he would call again — a three-way conference call with our mutual client — to brainstorm different ways to improve her website with a pile of social media horseshit and new coding technology. I tried to explain (nicely at first) that I really don’t want to do this. When he wouldn’t stop talking I finally just said, “Look, pal, I’m retiring. I have zero motivation to learn any of this additional crap you’re talking about.” He probably thought I was just being a comedian because he went ahead and set up that conference call for today at 3. Thankfully, Warren blew it. My phone didn’t ring until almost 4:15, at which time I was so irritated I decided to let his call go to voice mail and sat at my desk eating wintergreen TicTacs and ordering the following pair of gorgeous lamps on sale at
Afterwards I bought a teeny funnel from Amazon to facilitate refilling my spice jars with all kinds of spicy little whatnots. (I have 45 jars of spicy little whatnots.) (No kidding.)

Anybody see the season finale of “Mad Men” last night? This was an episode worth waiting for, people. Best one yet. I watched it at 2 a.m. after Sam was asleep but didn’t delete it from the DVR because I absolutely have to see this one again. Wow. Just wow.
At the moment I think my favorite characters are Sally Draper and Bob Benson, the smiling weasel. Would any of you care to start a conversation?
Time to mosey into the kitchen to feed the chickens and rustle up some pickles & biscuits. Thank y’all for reading this.

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