The Republican party sucks. I apologize if this statement offends anybody.

Good morning. It’s the crack of dawn here in north Texas and stormy weather is approaching from the west. I might have to rush back to bed when the big hoo-hah starts because that’s the best spot in the house during a thunderstorm.

I’d like to extend my congratulations to the GOP. They’ve finally named a woman to spout their platform of misogynist horseshit! Marsha Blackburn, an aggressive Congresswoman from the Neanderthal state of Tennessee and the Howdygram’s latest Putz of the Week, has been appointed to spread the word about the House’s proposed 20-week abortion ban. Yes, girls, Republicans are still harping about abortion!

The ban idea began with Trent Franks, the moron representative from Arizona who recently announced that because rape-related pregnancies were “very rare,” a 20-week abortion ban should contain NO EXCEPTION WHATSOEVER for pregnancies conceived by rape.

Sensing potential disaster (remember Todd Akin?), the House GOP frantically inserted a last-minute rape and incest exception and replaced Franks with Blackburn as their official mouthpiece, figuring that breasts and lipstick would make a difference in the message. From this point on, Marsha Blackburn is in charge of kicking women’s rights back to the pre-suffrage era.

But wait … there’s more! For years Blackburn has been an outspoken opponent of issues that any woman with functioning brain cells should support. In 2009 she voted against the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act and the Paycheck Fairness Act, and she just appeared on “Meet the Press” to make sure the men of America know that women don’t really want equal pay laws. She’s also in a bewildering group of women who hated (and refused to vote for) the Violence Against Women Act. When asked to explain her position, Blackburn said that it “protected too many groups.”

Ilse Hogue, president of NARAL Pro-Choice America, called Blackburn’s appointment an “insensitive and insulting compromise” and “window dressing” on “egregious” legislation, because 20 weeks into a pregnancy is when women usually find out about serious fetal abnormalities.

The Howdygram’s position? The Republican party SUCKS. I apologize if this statement offends anybody. (Actually, not really.)

I think I hear thunder so I’m going back to bed now. Thank you.