Sausages, eBay deals and God bless Tammy Duckworth.

Let’s discuss thrilling developments for a minute, okay? I just placed a couple of spur-of-the-moment online orders that make me so damn excited I might explode!

First: HOT & SPICY SAUSAGES. A severe and uncontrollable craving sent me back to FoodyDirect.com for a big ol’ shipment of jalapeño sausage from Kreuz Market for delivery on July 3. Kreuz’s sausage is the bomb, people! A full-color portrait appears below plus a shot of the famous sign that hangs above the register in the restaurant.

Second: DIABETES SUPPLIES. I mentioned a few days ago that I’d been browsing around on eBay trying to buy some cheapo FreeStyle Lite diabetes test strips. I entered an auction and eventually scored a box of 100 for $40 (a whole lot less than you’d pay for the same thing on Amazon) but eBay’s bidding crapola gets on my nerves so I pretty much gave up after that and watched TV. Tonight, however, I struck gold. I found an eBay seller unloading several boxes of 100 FreeStyle Lite test strips at an unheard-of “buy now” price — no stupid bidding! — at $19.99 each, so I bought three boxes. That’s THREE HUNDRED TEST STRIPS for $59.97. Holy crap!

Just so you know how amazingly cheap this really is, Amazon sells 100 FreeStyle Lite test strips for $58 ... and that’s 60% less than the Blue Cross co-payment at a pharmacy. (No sane person with Internet access would EVER buy these from a pharmacy.)

One more thing. In case you thought the Howdygram could finally go a whole day without some kind of progressive political commentary, I’ve got breaking news tonight from our Mazel Tov, Tammy Ripped This Jerk A New One department. Braulio Castillo, CEO of Strong Castle, Inc., has been defrauding the Veterans Administration for 27 years using a bogus “service-related disability” to qualify for special deals and government contracts and then gamed the system by weasling favors from a friend at the IRS. During Castillo’s grilling earlier today in a Congressional hearing, Representative Tammy Duckworth (D-IL), a decorated war hero who lost both legs and the use of one arm as a helicopter pilot in Iraq, ripped this jerk a new one. Castillo’s injury? He twisted his foot playing football in prep school back in 1984 and then paid a series of doctors to submit documents to the VA so he’d be eligible to label his company a “service-disabled, veteran-owned small business.”

To help him secure government contracts, Castillo wrote to the Veterans Administration: “These are crosses that I bear due to my service to our great country and I would do it again.” After Duckworth read Castillo’s letter out loud, she added, “I’m so glad that you would be willing to play football in prep school again to protect this great country. Shame on you, Mr. Castillo. Shame on you!” The full video clip appears below for your possible interest. Please be prepared to stand up and cheer afterwards, okay?

And now I’m ready for a nice shower and additional food because I don’t think I ate enough for dinner. If you have any menu suggestions please send an email as soon as possible. Thank you.