I’ve really missed Sam this week.

Good morning, people. It’s Sunday — Father’s Day! — and I thought I’d write a speedy yet  carefully-crafted post for the Howdygram before I go to bed. Okay, maybe not.

At last, Sam is coming home from California today. I can’t wait to see him! I’ve missed his face, his feet, all ten toes, the sound of his voice, his Clif Bar wrappers and his manicky sense of humor. (I also really need somebody to scratch my back.) In the meantime, Sam’s friend Leo emailed this photo last night … taken when they went hiking together in the Hollywood Hills on Saturday.

To amuse myself last night I watched another Esther Williams movie — This Time for Keeps (1949) with Jimmy Durante — and an atrocious Irwin Allen disaster film called When Time Ran Out (1980), the story of a volcano on a resort island, like The Towering Inferno with lava. Headliners included Paul Newman, William Holden and Jacqueline Bisset, who all looked embarrassed from the start and clearly only showed up for a paycheck. Jacqueline Bisset tried so damn hard to make sexy faces that she actually could have been passing gas.

Others in the typical 1980s “all-star cast” include Edward Albert (did he ever make a good movie?), Burgess Meredith, Ernest Borgnine (he gets hit with a flying ball of lava), Red Buttons and James Franciscus, who overacts to the point of INSANITY. Alex Karras is also on hand as “Tiny,” Paul Newman’s bodyguard. Tiny drowns when gigantic tidal wave hits the saloon where he and some pals are staging a cockfight. I wouldn’t joke about this. Everybody else miraculously drives away in a Jeep.

The special effects suck, the script sucks, the acting sucks, the volcano is painted on a backdrop with fake smoke and cheesy fireballs, and Jacqueline Bisset’s hairstyle changes halfway through the film with no explanation. For me, the high point is when the retired circus acrobat played by Burgess Meredith — who’s about four feet tall and 80 years old — piggybacks a couple of children across a lava flow on a tightrope. As a bonus, we get to see Pat Morita fall into a fire pit.

When Time Ran Out was Irwin Allen’s worst (and last) film ... which is exactly why I’m saving it for Sam so he can watch it when he gets home. He loves crap like this.

Wow, it’s 3 a.m. and I think I should go to bed now. Thank you for reading this.