Do you ever pause to appreciate the devastating simplicity of genuine morons?

In this post: Missing mules, crappy service, morons.

Show of hands. Do you ever pause to appreciate the devastating simplicity of genuine morons? This morning I submitted a customer service contact form on Roamans.com because the FedEx tracking number they provided on May 16 for my new fake suede mules for huge feet (see right) isn’t producing any results whatsoever. The error message appears below.

Please don’t think I’m making this up, but here’s the helpful reply I just received from an Einstein named Alfreda in Roaman’s customer service department. Holy crap.

Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience. My name is Alfreda and I will be helping you with your issue today. Thank you for your email. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience. Unfortunately it does not look like there is any tracking information available online from FedEx yet so I suggest you continue checking the FedEx tracking page until you see an update. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience.

Holy crap. This is so freakin’ NOT EVEN REMOTELY USEFUL that I’m tempted to mail her a photo of my fist so she can smack herself in the head for me.

In keeping with this post’s general theme — morons, remember? — I’d like to offer a fine example of the Lone Star State’s Republican grassroots political activitists.

If you can read this, thank a schoolteacher.