Sunday, May 11, 2014

My uterus fell out in 1990. No regrets.

In this post: Mothers, gridlock, movies.

It’s 7:15 Sunday morning and Sam is still asleep, so I’d like to take a minute to wish y’all a very Happy Mother’s Day if you’re a mother. If you’re NOT please scroll down to the next section at your earliest possible convenience. (Incidentally, I am not a mother and never wanted to be. My uterus fell out in 1990. No regrets.)

Here’s a breaking news story from our Another Good Reason To Consider Suicide department. You may or may not know that Sam and I used to live in Los Angeles. We relocated to Texas in 2007 due to: 1) beautiful affordable housing; 2) no traffic; 3) an overall lower cost of living; 4) no traffic; 5) a slower and better quality of life; 6) no traffic; 7) nice hats; 8) no traffic; and 9) NO TRAFFIC. (Did I forget to mention no traffic?) So when I saw this video clip a few minutes ago about an overpass collapse on I-15 — the only major artery that connects southern California to Las Vegas — I pretty much wanted to blow my brains out as a show of sympathy for the hundreds of thousands of poor slobs stuck in that miserable gridlock when all lanes of traffic in both directions came to a grinding halt at the edge of the Mojave Desert. I hope somebody thought to pack a couple of sandwiches.

Sam and I made that trip to Las Vegas more than once, people, and trust me on this ... traffic always sucked even WITHOUT a collapsed overpass. The red star on the map below denotes the location of the disaster.

There are lots of unforgettable movies about mothers today on TCM if you don’t have anything else to do. These include: Gypsy (1962) starring Rosalind Russell and Natalie Wood; Mildred Pierce (1945) starring Joan Crawford and Ann Blyth; Marty (1955) starring Ernest Borgnine; Imitation of Life (1959) starring Lana Turner and Sandra Dee; I Remember Mama (1948) starring Irene Dunne; and The Mating Season (1951) starring Gene Tierney, Thelma Ritter and Miriam Hopkins. I’m recording all of them, although my personal favorites are Mildred Pierce, I Remember Mama and The Mating Season.
Thank you for reading this.

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