My new cholesterol pills are as big as South Dakota.

In this post: Improvements, medical recap, a Thursday bloodbath.

Ready for a gigantic news flash? For the last 24 hours I’ve had an uncontrollable urge to create Howdygram 2 with all the popular wit, charm and content as my current blog except we’d have a whole new look and a WHITE BACKGROUND because I’m so sick of beige I might have a stroke. Plus ... the old Howdygram (this one) would have a link to the new one in case you forget to bookmark the URL.

So what’s the time frame for all this hoo-hah? Well ... Sam will be in L.A. visiting family for nine days in the middle of June so I thought I’d try to launch the new blog while he’s away. This is monumentally exciting for me, people, so please stay tuned for additional developments and tell your friends, okay?

And now for a quick recap of my doctor’s appointment this morning in case you’ve been hanging out online waiting for this. Believe it or not, Dr. M thinks the severe muscle pain and fatigue in my legs could be peripheral artery disease and NOT a side effect from my shitty cholesterol medications, so she’s referring me to a vascular specialist in the building next door for an ankle-brachial index test to check the blood pressure in my ankles and an ultrasound of my legs to see what the hell is going on. (Maybe I’ll shave first. It’s been years.) For your possible interest the following map indicates: A) Howdygram headquarters; B) Dr. M’s office at Baylor Medical Center; and C) the vascular specialist’s office. I don’t know the doctor’s name yet but his building is really nice with pretty bricks.

I’ve got another new prescription. Because I gave up on Fenofibric Acid a couple of weeks ago (see previous post) Dr. M wants me to start taking Welchol instead for my high cholesterol. This wouldn’t be a very big deal except she gave me some samples and these damn things are as big as South Dakota. Here’s proof in case you think I’m making this up.

Incidentally, my routine lab work this morning turned into a MAJOR CRIME SCENE when the phlebotomist accidentally yanked the needle out of hand (they always draw from the top of my left hand instead of my arm) and BLOOD WAS SQUIRTING EVERYWHERE ... all over ME, all over HER, all over TWO CHAIRS and all over the FLOOR. Holy crap, what a mess. And you should see the nasty bruise I’ve got.

Maybe I’ll order Mongolian chicken for dinner tonight. Chinese food heals everything.