Drowning my sorrows in egg foo young.

Before I curl up for a Monday afternoon nap because it’s raining and there’s not much else to do I’d like to begin this post with a quick update from the PGA tour. During yesterday’s final round of the AT&T Pro-Am at Pebble Beach Tiger Woods lost ground with a bunch of crappy shots and bogeys while Phil Mickelson played like a superstar and won the tournament at 16 under par. Tiger didn’t totally suck, per se, he just couldn’t sink a putt and looked like Mister Crabby Face.

Afterwards I ordered dinner from China City in an effort to drown my sorrows in egg foo young. (Glorioski! It worked!)

And now for an in-depth retrospective of the senior citizen segments from last night’s Grammy Awards: 1) the Beach Boys, celebrating their 50th anniversary, were incredible and sang “Good Vibrations”; 2) Tony Bennett at 86 years old got a rousing ovation from the audience mostly for his ability to stand without help and sing on key; 3) Paul McCartney was pruny yet adorable; 4) Bruce Springsteen was impressive and can still leap all over the stage at 63; and 5) I got emotional about Glen Campbell’s appearance because he found out last year he has Alzheimer’s and realizes his career is finished. Glen’s farewell tour will last until he can’t remember the lyrics any more. Incidentally, I watched the Grammies mostly alone because Sam was only interested in the aforementioned performances. The commercials were good, too.

In case you’ve been keeping track of my online shopping adventures I received my Bear Creek hot & sour soup mixes from Amazon.com on Friday. While this doesn’t exactly resemble real restaurant-quality hot & sour soup, it definitely tastes Asian, each bag makes a HALF-GALLON OF SOUP — enough for an army! — and it cooks in only 10 minutes. Plus I can throw in my own “extras” to jazz it up, like a bag of Miracle Rice, cubed tofu and a beaten egg. In the throes of hysteria I plunged ahead last night and ordered six bags of Bear Creek vegetable beef soup mix because the picture on the package looks so damn good. For Sam I ordered four cans of his favorite coffee.

I also visited VegeFoods.com a little while ago and decided to try a few canned faux meat products because — please don’t gag — I actually enjoy faux meat and Worthington gets five-star reviews all over the Internet. They’re primarily soy, low-fat, low-calorie, low-carb, high in fiber and pretend to be all the everyday foods I probably shouldn’t be eating.

If these turn out to be as good as people say I’ll eventually order from Amazon, where I can get them in cartons of 12 for less money and free two-day shipping. (I love free shipping.) Please stay tuned for an update.

Nap-time at last. Thank you for reading this.