This is my first official post for the month of February, a fact that’s probably even less important to
you than it is to
me. I’m awake at 2:30 in the morning because I’m having digestive issues and don’t want to go to bed and disturb Sam if I have to keep vaulting out of the room. So while I wait for everything to calm down I figure I’ll hang out with the Howdygram and annoy my readers.
There’s lots of breaking news on the Internet this morning, such as: 1) Newt Gingrich did NOT win the Florida primary ... and he wasn’t even close; 2) heartwarming video coverage of Goatee, the surfing goat; 3) Kim Kardashian highlighted her hair (which is also today’s lead story from our Who Gives A Crap department); and 4) McDonald’s confirms that it has discontinued using “pink slime” in its hamburger meat.
The aforementioned slime actually consists of unmentionable “meat trimmings” soaked in ammonium hydroxide, a chemical also found in fertilizers, household cleaners and explosives.
Aha! The secret ingredient in Happy Meals!
Bedtime at last. Thank you for reading this.
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