Lou Malnati’s sausage pizza is the present of a lifetime.

It’s cold again in north Texas today. The high will only hit 46° but we’re expecting a ton of rain tonight and much warmer temperatures — 70° on Wednesday — for the rest of the week. We’ve dodged a bullet here with winter weather because it’s practically spring.

The Howdygram strongly recommends tuning in to CBS today for round four of the PGA Pro-Am Golf Tournament at Pebble Beach because Tiger Woods — go Tiger! — is charging towards a first place finish. I don’t know why I still get excited about this dude except that he’s amazing to watch when he’s playing well … and lately he’s been playing VERY well. I might make a matzo soufflé for lunch in case you want to drop in and watch golf with us. An advance email would be nice so I can make enough.

Another TV recommendation for Sunday would be tonight’s Grammy Awards, but ONLY because the Beach Boys, Bruce Springsteen, Tony Bennett and Paul McCartney are supposed to perform in a salute to senior citizens who can still walk unassisted and carry a tune. The rest of the program doesn’t interest me whatsoever because I don’t know any of the other musicians, I’ve never listened to their music and I and don’t care if they win, lose or show up drunk. I don’t even care about the last-minute tribute to Whitney Houston (she died yesterday) because the music industry loves to deify its deceased drug addicts FOREVER and I’m positive this is just the first of many pointless and sappy hoo-hahs yet to come. On the other hand, maybe they’ll finally shut up about Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse now.

Glorioski and holy crap, last night I discovered Taste of Chicago … a website that ships food from Chicago’s most iconic restaurants ANYWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES. This includes Lou Malnati’s deep dish pizza, Vienna Chicago-style hotdogs, Portillo’s Italian beef, Manny’s Delicatessen, Carson’s Ribs and Eli’s cheesecake! I’m practically hysterical right now and keep revisiting the website to stare at the pictures (see below).

If anybody ever wants to buy me the present of a lifetime — seriously — it would be Lou Malnati’s sausage pizza because I haven’t had one for at least 30 years. Thank you in advance for your overwhelming generosity. I have my own napkins.