Howdy and good morning from fog-shrouded north Texas. I’m not sure what — if anything — woke me up a few minutes ago, but so it won’t be a total loss I thought I’d spend some time here with y’all. (No need to thank me.)
I keep forgetting to tell you about this. I recently discovered an exceptionally funny website for your possible interest and amusement:
Shit My Pets Ruined. Give it a shot. If you’ve ever owned dogs or cats you’ll definitely find yourself laughing out loud, although some of these catastrophes are the best reasons on earth NOT to own a pet or to consider strangling the one you’ve already got.
Here’s a pet peeve in-the-making and I’ll bet a lot of you will agree with me. I just saw a news bulletin on
CNN.com that “Whitney Houston’s body is headed home to New Jersey via private jet.” And I’m sure within the next couple of hours we’ll read that somebody rented the Meadlowlands so she can lie in state for public viewing in preparation for canonization.
Apparently I need to invoke the voice of reason yet again to remind everybody that Whitney Houston did NOT discover a cure for cancer, end a war or devote her life to helping the homeless.
She was a singer and a drug addict. It’s too bad she died, but after three days of this crazy crap I’m already sick of video testimonials by Jesse “Oh Boy I’m in the News Again” Jackson, celebrity tributes and 75-page “Whitney’s life in photos” galleries on all the major news websites.
And finally ...
Our latest Einstein Award goes to Dallas’ local ABC news station WFAA and hard-hitting reporter Monika Diaz, who revealed “a serious privacy issue” with the new all-glass Omni Hotel because everybody at the adjacent convention center can see into the guest rooms.
Breaking news! PEOPLE CAN SEE THROUGH GLASS! (Exclusive at 10: WATER IS WET.)
Incidentally, when Miss Einstein asked Omni management to suggest solutions they basically said, “You moron. That’s why we’ve got BLINDS on the windows.”
Thank you for reading this. I’m going back to bed now.
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