Grady and Hiram achieve greatness as grand champion nerds.

A little while ago I was feeling dopey about my earlier post, the one where I bragged about the product reviews I’ve posted on Amazon.com during the last year and a half. Although I’m listed as a “Top Reviewer” because other shoppers like what I write and find my reviews helpful — and this is certainly a gratifying aspect of my life in semi-retirement — I’m not even remotely close to the grand champion nerds on Amazon’s “Hall of Fame” list. I refer specifically to the two individuals pictured below.

Grady, who has reached “Hall of Fame” status for six straight years, has posted 6,868 product reviews and received 73,385 thumbs-up votes from grateful Amazon shoppers. Hiram, with 5,140 reviews, is closing in quickly. While both gentlemen appear normal — with the possible exception of Grady’s wardrobe choices — their accomplishments simply underscore how far I need to go to achieve greatness.

While I ponder my many shortcomings I just got a call from Sam, announcing that he’s “running late” at work and doesn’t know what time he’ll be able to leave. In the meantime I think I’ll shop online for a buffet lamp to replace the one I broke half an hour ago when I knocked it over in the foyer. Stay tuned for additional details as they become available.

Thank you for reading this.