Thanks to a pair of thrilling late-afternoon UPS deliveries it’s been another historic day here in Howdygramland. Take a look at the following incredible treasures that arrived today.
I’m so excited about these crazy cans of fake vegetarian meat that I don’t know which one to open first! I might smash some of that canned “Swiss Stake” into a Fifty50 pie crust and wash it down with big glass of sugar-free Nesquik chocolate milk. Plus a few green olives because green olives are wonderful with
anything. Okay, maybe not. But I’m definitely HUNGRY, and since Sam is at work and I don’t have any plans tonight aside from folding sheets and watching this week’s episode of “Top Chef,” I can pretty much do (and eat) whatever the hell I want. God bless America.
In breaking news from our I’ve Eaten Burritos Bigger Than This department, Chandra Bahadur Dangi, 72, of rural Nepal (see below), arrived in Katmandu earlier today to meet with officials from the Guinness Book of World Records. The teeny dude is only 22 inches tall and believes he’ll be named World’s Shortest Man. I’m sure this must be a huge deal in Nepal, since up till now Mount Everest has been their only real tourist attraction.
Thank you for reading this. Seriously.
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