Glorioski, I love my life.

In this post: Texas rocks, John Wayne stinks.

While I hang around waiting for Sam to wake up I just read an article on CNN Money about cities where home prices are hitting new highs. Although home values in most markets nationwide are still down about 13% from their pre-recession peaks, housing in seven major cities has recovered — and then some, according to Zillow. And, of the seven cities on the list, FOUR ARE RIGHT HERE IN THE LONE STAR STATE: Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and Austin. Holy crap, y’all!

In case you’re interested, the other three cities on the list are Denver, Pittsburgh and San Jose, except I don’t know why the hell anybody would voluntarily live in San Jose because the median home price is $759,000 and it’s populated with irritating geeks. I’m just saying.

Here’s an update from our Still Fighting Through the Backlog of Cheesy Old John Wayne Westerns department. Last night Sam and I sat through Ride Him, Cowboy (1932), a real stinkeroo co-starring Duke the Miracle Horse. (The horse was much better in this film than Wayne and actually had a more convincing part.)

Today we’ll finish watching The Man from Monterey (1933), by far the crappiest movie John Wayne ever made. It might even be the crappiest movie ANYBODY ever made. The Man from Monterey is riddled with putrid acting, comical Spanish accents that frequently sound Yiddish and an atrocious sword fight that looks like something staged for a middle school. Check it out:

Co-starring with Wayne are Luis Alberni as Felipe Guadalupe Constacio Delgado Santa Cruz de la Verranca (seriously) who occasionally appears in drag, Ruth Hall as the love interest and, once again, Duke the mind-reading Miracle Horse. In one scene when John Wayne is being held hostage in a locked room with no guards, he tells Duke, “Go back and get my men, Duke, tell Dolores I’ll be late and and make sure Buck brings the guns and saddle bags!” I think that’s damn impressive.

Know what’s on my agenda today? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Glorioski, I love my life.