Three things and a new Putz of the Week.

In this post: Our shower remodeling hoo-hah, a new Putz, dinner ideas.

Three things!

FIRST THING. It’s official, people. The Great Shower Remodeling Hoo-Hah has been scheduled for Wednesday, April 9. As I mentioned in yesterday’s Howdygram post, we found out that water has been sneaking behind our marble shower bench for quite some time, so our remodeling dude — Clayton — will dismantle the glass shower enclosure, remove and clean the tiles, take apart the marble bench, replace the entire structure with new supports, sheetrock, mouldings, baseboards and paint, inside and outside the shower. Clayton says it’s a two-day project, which is damn good news because commotion really gets on my nerves and leeches valuable time from my afternoon naps.

SECOND THING. I’m absolutely determined to use the shower in our guest bathroom while the aforementioned remodeling hoo-hah is underway and also for the required number of days afterwards that we have to let everything dry (I’m guessing 48 hours). In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, I have several mobility issues that make it damn near impossible to step into a regular tub plus I need to sit down when I shower due to diabetic nerve pain in my feet, shitty knees and muscle weakness in my back and legs. So I just bought myself a SENIOR CITIZEN SAFETY BAR from Amazon that clamps onto the tub and supports up to 500 pounds in case I get dizzy and really need to shlep on it. And we also have a waterproof stool so I’ll be able to sit.

Believe it or not, I’m already stressed-out from all this tumult. If the safety bar and waterproof stool don’t solve my problems I’ll just have to beat the crap out of somebody with my cane. Seriously.

THIRD THING. For the hell of it I’ve decided to start using a totally new font for my image captions. Can you tell the difference?

Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you’re disturbed by this, okay?

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And now ... let’s get to our latest Putz of the Week! Meet Tag Greason, a GOP lawmaker douchebag from Virginia who recently blasted constituent Susan Merk, an elderly woman residing in a Loudoun County retirement village, over her support for Medicaid expansion under the Affordable Care Act.

During a contentious email exchange with Merk in which Greason insisted that the ACA “has already proven to be inefficient, costly, and an utter disaster,” he shot back with the following message:

How intellectually lazy are you? You are the problem. Good luck to you. You can not insult your way to victory. If you are not willing to have a civil discussion, please do not write me again. It is a waste of my time.

Merk ripped Greason for his unprofessional response and ended the email exchange as follows: “This reply is pitiful — it’s nothing but partisan rhetoric, false accusations and invalid excuses. It’s your job to listen to the people you represent. I will be sure to vote you out the next time you’re up for election.”

In a lame effort to excuse his behavior Greason told the Times-Mirror he was having “a bad day.” A bad day? Is this how you rationalize abusing a constituent who belongs to at least two voting blocs (senior citizens and women) that your party DESPERATELY NEEDS? Tag Greason is an unimpressive, entitled frat boy and a hostile GOP loudmouth who’s been indoctrinated into believing and repeating the standard horseshit talking points about Obamacare being a “train wreck” even though it’s anything but. Good luck to you, Tag, and mazel tov on your recent graduation from the Chris Christie Charm Academy.

Before I sign off I would like to request a few urgent yet tasty menu ideas concerning tonight’s dinner, but I can’t horse around with this much longer because it’s almost 7:30 and my blood sugar is starting to drop. Please offer your suggestions here and thank you in advance for giving a crap about me.