In this post: Lunch meat, intolerance.
Sometimes life is fraught with disappointment. Last night while I was waiting for Sam to get home from work I desperately wanted a BLT except I didn’t have any L or T so I just ate B on low-carb toast with mayo.
Which brings me to my next point: THE SECRET TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS LUNCH MEAT. This morning Sam went shopping at Wal-Mart and brought home two packages of Oscar Mayer Pickle & Pimiento loaf just for me. This is a man who knows how to touch my heart, and it usually involves cheap processed meat.
This is your lucky day, people. I’ve got a brand new Putz of the Week for you and a Putz, Jr., both of which fit nicely into our overall theme-of-the-day: RIGHT-WING HORSESHIT. We’ll begin with racist Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, the conservative darling of heavily-armed anti-government militias from coast-to-coast. Bundy has been in the news a LOT lately, trying to defend his right to graze private cattle on government land FOR TWENTY YEARS without paying grazing fees because — get ready for it — he doesn’t believe in the federal government’s right to exist. A couple of weeks ago when Bundy realized the Bureau of Land Management finally wanted him to pay up or get lost, he mobilized the aforementioned heavily-armed anti-government militias to blockade the roads near his ranch and take up tactical positions on public bridges and overpasses. GUNS! FREEDOM! AMERICA!
And today? Bundy released a press statement comparing himself to civil rights pioneer Rosa Parks: “I am standing up against [the federal government’s] bad and unconstitutional laws, just like Rosa Parks did when she refused to sit in the back of the bus. I am doing the same thing Rosa Parks did. I am standing up against bad laws.”
What we’re witnessing here is the final desperate trolling phase of a loser’s 15 minutes of fame, which is basically the equivalent of running out of bullets and throwing the gun. Just pay your damn grazing fees, you ignorant old coot.
This pathetic, demented, intolerant dickhead really needs to get a grip. In the old days Christians had no problem getting tossed to the lions. TODAY THEY CRAP IN THEIR PANTS WHEN THEY SEE A STICKER. They sure don’t make ’em like they used to, do they?
Thank you for putting up with me. I have to fold socks now.