Monday, January 9, 2012

Fonts, freaks and a big hoo-hah from Whataburger.

It’s the middle of the night and it’s RAINING here. Water has been falling from the sky for at least three hours and will continue to fall all day today, all night tonight and all day tomorrow as well. The only difference is, we’re expecting a bunch of badass thunderstorms today starting around 10 a.m. Frankly, I can’t wait. We need the rain and I love thunderstorms. To celebrate I think I’ll spend all day cooking things, such as Sugar-Free Hungarian Un-Stuffed Cabbage and maybe a sugar-free frosted cake. I’m so excited I may not be able to go back to sleep.

Breaking stupid news. Whataburger, the south’s favorite hamburger chain for no good reason whatsoever, has introduced “spicy ketchup” for a limited time only, a fact that apparently is supposed to coerce fans of their dry, overcooked fast food to run out and give it a shot. Whataburger’s news release says their new spicy ketchup is just regular ketchup with a squirt of jalapeño puree and was produced in a “limited batch” to be served at all 730 restaurant locations in 10 states. I don’t know about you, but “limited batch” evokes somebody stirring a three-quart kettle on the stove ... not 730 restaurants in 10 states.
I’m told there’s even a Facebook page for spicy ketchup’s new flock of “friends.” Whataburger says they didn’t initiate it, but they’re LYING. No way this wasn’t a brainchild of their Einstein P.R. department because even Rick Perry isn’t dumb enough to be friends with ketchup. (I might be wrong about this, however.)

On Saturday I downloaded more free comic book fonts from in addition to the other free fonts I downloaded last Monday (see my earlier posts here and here). If you’re even slightly creative I strongly recommend visiting Blambot’s website for lots of inspiration.
Before I sign off I wanted also to share this photo of freakish and ghostly Mrs. Newt Gingrich, age 45, a woman so vain she must spend six hours a day gluing every hair into place when she’s not racking up debt at Tiffany’s. Just between us, she scares the hell out of me and the photo at right was actually the most flattering I could find. Two more appear below for your possible amusement.
Thank you for reading this. I apologize if I’m giving you nightmares.

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