Lose the itchy mop dress. Seriously.

I almost forgot to remind everybody about “Project Runway All Stars” on Lifetime. Tune in every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Central time to watch all your least-favorite whiny losers from eight previous seasons. I’m not sure I’ll have the stomach for this, but after surviving 12 weeks of “Work of Art” I guess I can put up with damn near anything.

Here, for your possible interest, are two of the runway fashions from last week’s episode. Mila designed an outfit from plastic-covered lawn chair fabric and phone cords; April’s dress was a macramé monstrosity made of floor mops. They’re both frightening — would you want gigantic train tracks running around your thighs? — but the mop fringe makes me itch and the model on the right looks like she’s ready to bludgeon somebody.

I suppose that’s it for now. It’s raining, I’m tired, my feet are cold and Sam has been asleep since midnight. Thank you for reading this and I’m heading off to bed.