The Great Pillsbury Panic of 2012 and other issues.

I have no idea why I’m writing a post because I’m so damn tired I can’t see straight. I woke up way too early this morning (6:30) and never bothered going back to bed. I actually feel somewhat inebriated but without the benefit of free pretzels or happy hour.

The Great Pillsbury Panic of 2012. The bigger issue today, however, concerns Pillsbury. This morning I tried to reorder their sugar-free cake mixes and frosting from Low Carb Connoisseur and couldn’t find them on their website. So I send an email to their customer service department and they write back to tell me PILLSBURY HAS DISCONTINUED ALL OF THEIR SUGAR-FREE PRODUCTS. Holy mother of crap! I take a quick look to see if I can still order from Amazon.com but I’d have to spend $39.99 for six cake mixes from a seller in Ohio plus an extra $9.99 for shipping ... the equivalent of $8.33 for each box of cake mix. This is seriously outrageous.

By now Sam can tell I’m becoming hysterical, inconsolable and generally over-wrought, so he drives down the street to Wal-Mart and comes home half an hour later with a veritable TRUCKLOAD of sugar-free Pillsbury cake mixes, sugar free Pillsbury fudge brownie mixes and cans of sugar-free Pillsbury frosting! AND THEY’RE CHEAP, TOO! For the record, I eventually checked out Pillsbury’s website (they have several and it took a while to find the right one), but since they’re still promoting their line of sugar-free products I can only assume that everybody at Low Carb Connoisseur must be criminally insane or on drugs. And with that, the Great Pillsbury Panic of 2012 draws to a close.

In other news, you might be interested to know that I’m also up to my ears in a big hoo-hah concerning the new credit card payment system I signed up for ... a “virtual terminal” that operates online. A couple of hours ago they send me a tedious welcome email in 8-point type with enough instructions and secret codes to build a stealth bomber, ending with the following paragraph:

“Please note that integrating to the QuickCommerce Payment Gateway requires Web programming. You will need a knowledgeable Web developer to manage your payment gateway integration.”

I have no idea what this means, and I’ve been designing websites and writing HTML code for more than ten years. I tried three times to contact their support hotline but apparently these clowns don’t like to answer the phone, either. After 10 rings you get a message that basically says, “What’s wrong with you ... can’t you see we’re busy? Call us back.” They don’t put you on hold, they don’t give you any options, and they don’t transfer you to voice mail and offer to return the call. Nothing. I’m already pissed off and I haven’t even set up my account yet.

Please help me. I need to slap somebody right now and I’m home alone. Thank you in advance for your attention to my request.