Monkeys don’t have bar mitzvahs.

Here we go … my first Howdygram post of the new year and an opportunity to announce to the world that Banana Sam is safe. Banana Sam is a teeny spider monkey who was abducted two days ago from his cage at the San Francisco Zoo and then started tweeting to irritate the local police. He was recovered last night at a park about a mile from the zoo. For the record, Banana Sam is no relation whatsoever to Howdygram Sam, who’s visibly cuter, taller, a lot less furry and had a bar mitzvah.

In an effort to take advantage of another day of glorious weather — 65° and sunshine! — here in north Texas, Howdygram Sam and I have been trying to decide what we’d like to do today. New Year’s Day is a holiday, of course, and I don’t think too many retail shopping options exist unless you need a few cans of kidney beans at Wal-Mart, so we’ll probably just go for a nice long drive in the country, which is always a favorite activity, anyway. I’d be hinting about a trip to the Choctaw Casino but Sam already promised we’d go next weekend.

Time for my first shower of the new year. This is so exciting I can’t stand it.