Public schools give me a migraine.

Good morning, shalom and welcome to Potato Salad Day here at Howdygram headquarters. My big mixing bowl is out on the counter and my hard-boiled eggs are shelled. The next step involves cooking some actual potatoes, which is at the top of my agenda as soon as I finish this post. You can check out my world-famous recipe here.

I’m pleased to report that I slept very well last night. My toes didn’t hurt and my hands weren’t hot. As a matter of fact, I didn’t get out of bed this morning till the crack of 10:30 and didn’t even wake up when Sam called at 9. (Apparently I thought I dreamed the phone was ringing and just rolled over.)

And now, here’s a little something from our Knee-Jerk Reaction department. I read an article this morning that the principal of Pottsdown Middle School in Pennsylvania has banned “open top boots” — such as those popular but stupid-looking Uggs (see below) — in classrooms because students are sneaking in contraband items hidden in their boots. The school is referring specifically to cell phones, which students are not allowed to bring to class.

I have two questions for Principal Einstein. First, how the hell can boots have “closed” tops? And second, don’t cell phones also fit in a pocket or backpack? Public schools give me a migraine. I’m just saying.

One final thought. A few thousand years ago when I was in middle school I wanted to dress like a GIRL, not like a sherpa heading for base camp at Mount Everest. Thank you for reading this.