No, Bubba, your pickup truck won’t float.

First, I’d like to share a couple of photos taken this morning in north Dallas following a night of torrential rain. All the ramps and underpasses to the LBJ Freeway were flooded and underwater, and emergency crews were staying busy with high water rescues because apparently the fine citizens of Dallas think their pickup trucks can FLOAT.

And now here’s one for the record books. Ralph Shortey, a nutjob Republican state senator from Oklahoma City, introduced a bill on Tuesday that would ban the use of aborted human fetuses in food even though he’s never actually heard of any company that’s doing this. Undeterred, Shortey said his own research led him to believe such a ban is absolutely necessary and his bill is aimed at “raising public awareness.” However, the executive director of Oklahomans for Life, a group that’s pushed some of the weirdest anti-abortion laws in the country through the state’s legislature, said he’s never heard of human fetuses being used in food or food research and basically thinks Shortey is an idiot. Although maybe not in those exact words.

Seriously, Ralphie ... fetuses in food? You don’t think state lawmakers are already wasting enough time? Why not introduce a bill to ban hamster pee in soft drinks or toe jam in Twinkies? (I’m feeling ill.)

Incidentally, I apologize if anybody is offended by the can of Campbell’s soup that appears in this post. It’s a joke. This is NOT a photo of an actual product.

Thank you for reading this.