June Cleaver, up close and personal.

I don’t know if you can smell this or not, but I’ve got pan of SUGAR-FREE FUDGE BROWNIES in the oven! Sam issued a special request yesterday after he brought home that truckload of Pillsbury mixes from Wal-Mart. I had hoped to bake them right away but didn’t have a chance after I got caught up in all that crap about my “virtual terminal.” It’s just not possible to pretend I’m June Cleaver when I actually want to bludgeon everybody in technical support.

Incidentally, for those of you younger than 50 who have no idea who June Cleaver is, she was a popular and practically perfect TV sitcom mom on “Leave It to Beaver” from 1957 to 1963 (learn more). June, Ward, Wally and The Beaver lived at 211 Pine Street in the fictitious town of Mayfield. June wore pearls in the kitchen to bake cookies and never trusted Eddie Haskell. She did, however, like Lumpy Rutherford and Beaver’s teacher, Miss Landers. A photo of the Cleavers’ previously-mentioned residence appears below. If it looks slightly familiar, this is the same house Universal Studios used for “Marcus Welby, M.D.” Seriously.

I just realized I haven’t eaten anything whatsoever since 11:15 this morning, so in the interest of expedience and convenience — and also to feed my favorite addiction — I just placed a nice order from China City that should be here around 9. I usually don’t order food this late. I’m living dangerously in my old age.

Thank you for reading this.