Get ready to rumble!

I’m having a crappy night’s sleep for one reason and one reason only ... GREAT BIG THUNDERSTORMS! They’ve been rolling through here for the last three or four hours with plenty of lightning, boomers and rain so heavy it sounds like a herd of buffalo running by the bedroom window. So I finally got up, poured myself a nice Marcy-tini and shlepped into the study to find out what’s happening on Weather.com. Here, for your possible interest, is the whole shebang.

The big red star denotes Howdygram headquarters in Mesquite. If you zoom in I’m the cute one in the blue robe with squinty eyes because it’s 5 a.m. It’s okay to wave back if you want to.

In other news, the Alliance for Biking & Walking’s 2012 benchmark report indicates that Dallas is just about the worst big city in the United States when it comes to people riding their bikes to work. Seriously? Who the hell wants to ride a bicycle to work in Dallas? For eight months every year we’ve got temperatures above 90° with subtropical humidity, so commuting on a bike would only make sense if you work two blocks from home and stack dishes for a living at Sonny Bryan’s Smokehouse, where everybody else has heat stroke, too.

We also run the risk of getting trampled by wild man Rick Perry in a pickup truck or a gang of longhorns looking for greener pastures. No thanks. I’ll keep my Hyundai.

I should probably try to get a little more sleep so I won’t nod off watching “People’s Court” this afternoon. Thank you for reading this.