Cartons of joy delivered by UPS.

In this post: A taxing weekend, UPS delivers, diabetes sucks.

In case you haven’t looked at a calendar lately IT’S TAX SEASON AGAIN. I’m pleased to report that Sam and I have our proverbial ducks in a row earlier than usual this year and already received all of our W-2s, 1098s and 1099s. If all goes well — and we manage to stay awake long enough — I’m hoping we can get started this weekend with Turbo Tax. Oh boy, right?

But that’s not my only big news on a Friday afternoon! UPS just delivered TWO UNBEARABLY EXCITING PACKAGES: 1) nice big canisters of freeze-dried sausage crumbles and taco-flavored textured vegetable protein from Shelf Reliance; and 2) a pile of incredibly wonderful crapola from Netrition, including low-carb bread, low-carb ready-made pizza crusts, Jok ’n Al sugar-free raspberry preserves, tomato relish, cocktail sauce and chili pepper sauce (if you care, chili pepper sauce is a spicy version of sweet & sour), three different kinds of Health Express zero carb cookies, Guy’s sugar-free barbecue sauce and four boxes of low-carb ChocoRite chocolate bars. I’m so damn healthy I could puke.

I’d attempt to bring both boxes inside but I’m afraid they’re a little too heavy for me. When you’re a shleppy senior citizen who needs a cane for balance it’s damn near impossible to lift cartons one-handed. Fortunately, Sam is my full-time shipping clerk and he should be home from work tonight around 8:30. In the meantime I guess I’ll just have to sit here having a stroke about those adorable Health Express marble cookies. Holy crap.

A couple of funnies to brighten your evening courtesy of Herman and Ballard Street. Enjoy.

I think I’ll grab a nice hot shower now because my body temperature is 95.2° and I’m freezing to death from the inside out. Life with diabetes SUCKS, people. Thank you for putting up with me.