What a day. Ever since I woke up from my afternoon nap — today’s featured movie was Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959) starring James Mason and Pat Boone — I’ve been hard at work online researching A BRAND NEW VEHICLE for yours truly! It wasn’t an easy choice, but I think I finally found exactly what I’ve been looking for to make my retirement exciting and complete. Glorioski, people!
eBay with the added bonus of free shipping and no sales tax. Stay tuned for additional developments, okay?
In other news, I thought you might enjoy a few of the latest couture fashions from the runways of Paris. My comments follow.
- A black feathered tutu with coordinating hiking boots from Chanel. I’m serious.
- Shitty menswear with a missing sleeve.
- More shitty menswear with a wrinkly shirt, striped pajama bottoms, a shrunken jacket and a vest that doesn’t fit. Total price: $3,275.
- Vinyl shower curtain with matching flip-flops. Plus sizes available. Love the hair.
- Party dress for sluts. Holy crap. Just, holy crap.
- Strapless Hefty trash bag with furry gloves and a black fright mask.
Thank you for reading this.