Friday, January 31, 2014

I’m really into heavily processed canned meat with nitrates.

In this post: A hypoglycemic hoo-hah, a Wal-Mart shopping spree.

There was a record low this morning at Howdygram headquarters and I’m not talking about the weather. This time it was LOW BLOOD SUGAR. At 5 a.m. I sat up in bed like a rocket and shouted loud enough to wake Sam because I was in big trouble and knew I couldn’t deal with this without his help. I was clammy, shaking, disoriented and so damn hungry I considered eating my pillow. Eventually I sat on the bed chewing tasty tropical fruit glucose tablets nonstop for 15 minutes just to raise my blood sugar up to a normal number, which means it must have been around 35 at its lowest point. Holy crap, people, that’s scary! All things considered I’m really surprised that I didn’t BLACK OUT.

At the moment my body is absolutely exhausted, which always happens to me after a hypoglycemic hoo-hah. Sam left for work about half an hour ago so I plan to indulge in a nice juicy morning nap immediately after I show you what I just ordered from Wal-Mart.

Incidentally, if you’ve never tried Equate flushable wipes — Equate is Wal-Mart’s store brand — please treat yourself to a superior butt-wipe experience with the Howdygram’s wholehearted recommendation. They’re bigger, stronger and less annoying than any of the major brands (i.e., Cottonelle) ... AND MUCH CHEAPER.

Also ... this will be my very first experience with Spam. The contestants on “Top Chef” were cooking with it on this week’s espisode so I decided what the hell, give it a shot because I’m really into heavily processed canned meat with nitrates. Thank you.

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