It’s a Howdygram weekend film festival.

In this post: Favorite movies, a swine flu epidemic.

I’m so damn excited I almost can’t stand it! I just programmed our DVR to record the following list of outstanding movies this weekend.

• The Patsy (1964) starring Jerry Lewis
• Forbidden Planet (1956) starring Walter Pidgeon, Leslie Nielsen, Anne Francis and a robot
• The Penguin Pool Murder (1932) starring Edna May Oliver
• Valley of the Kings (1954) starring Eleanor Parker, Robert Taylor and pyramids
• Behind the Candelabra (2013) starring Matt Damon in a Speedo and Michael Douglas
• The Iron Lady (2011) starring Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher
• Victor, Victoria (1982) starring Julie Andrews as a drag queen plus Robert Preston
• De-Lovely (2004), a sing-along Cole Porter biopic starring Kevin Kline and Ashley Judd
• Bachelor in Paradise (1961) starring Bob Hope and Lana Turner
• Anastasia (1956) starring Ingrid Bergman and Yul Brynner

Although Sam doesn’t really give a crap about most of these, I’m pretty sure he’ll join me for The Patsy, Forbidden Planet, Valley of the Kings and Anastasia.

Know what? It seems that Texas is in the middle of a SWINE FLU EMERGENCY. People are dying all over the damn place around here and there are 19 fatalities so far, including several teens and otherwise-healthy adults who just STOPPED BREATHING. Emergency rooms and doctors’ offices are jammed.

I’ll attest to the second half of that last sentence from personal experience as I’ve been trying since Wednesday to call Dr. M’s office for a routine quarterly appointment and can’t get past the clinic’s on-hold music. So I made an appointment with my podiatrist instead because he only cares about feet.

I need to throw some robes in the dryer and eat dinner now. I’ll post again afterwards with another Putz of the Week and a story about some of America’s most popular restaurants that could kill you. Thank you for paying attention.